--38 Weeks (Before Birth)--
This is going to sound absolutely absurd, especially considering the series of posts to you at this juncture, but here it goes: your mother and I had our first jaw-dropping moment in this entire experience called pregnancy.
We sat there in a doctor's office going through the usual Q&A to close out a typical visit, to which we then heard the following statement, "...with that said, we're looking at next weekend."
My reaction was exactly as described in my opener - jaw dropped, eyes wide open, thought process halted, with a part of me wondering where the time had gone, and another hoping there was a moment to follow where the doctor said, "just kidding."
But she was dead serious. Your arrival is indeed next weekend as those guiding your mother's pregnancy have all recommend that you meet us after 39 weeks, instead of the usual 40.
So yeah, in true pro wrestling fashion, you've given the proverbial "this weekend" warning, and even managed to draw some hype for your debut. And yes, I'm hoping by the time you're reading this you'll be well versed on pro wrestling lingo. And yes, your mother is indeed secretly dreading the day you become a pro wrestling fan. But we know that's inevitable.
Nonetheless, somehow, someway, June - late-June to be exact, as we've been saying for months - is here. Repeating that statement constantly to co-workers, my students (by the way who are SUPER excited for your arrival, and have already thrown their name into the yet to be determined babysitting bowl), and any one else who has asked about you, worked itself eventually into this built-in security measure.
After all, when it was first said - late-June - it was a few months away. But late-June is here. And as the old Yogism goes, it gets late, early.
So yes, tonight, we were jarred. Yet, during our customary whatever-craving-mom-currently-has-after-doctor-visits dinner, we both realized we're more afraid of the unknown that is the actual birthing process and experience more so than not being ready for you. Because we are. We're ready. And so very excited.
Speaking for myself, I can tell you that over the past three years, your existence and now arrival, has been the most exciting thing I've had in my life. I can explain so much more on this period one day, but these past years have been a period of growing up very fast, shouldering immense responsibility for others, and in many ways, sacrificing my own being many times. But looking back on it, it's literally all characteristics of fatherhood. And looking back on it, God is beautiful in that way. We just never see the entire painting in the midst of it's progress. Lesson one: God is good. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
So yeah, it has been a long time coming for me. Even in these final days, I find myself doing everything possible to prepare and even get a head start on this new chapter set to begin - next weekend.
I'm so ready that I even use your name at times in my thought process and a few times almost let it slip aloud. Your mom and I agreed we would use the generic "Baby R" name until you were born. It's hard though, because you have a pretty dope name. But really, it's just that exciting.
But again, next weekend.
It took us by surprise today. But something tells me that won't be the first time you do that to us.
See you next weekend.
Your-not-sure-what's about-to-happen Dad