Usually it's been the custom here on the DP that I allow a day or two to go by before I react to something major, unless of course, I really feel like an initial response would be the best one. I do this because sometimes thoughts are better refined when given time, especially as a situation unveils itself and develops.
So after doing so following the tragic events that took place yesterday at the Boston Marathon, I find myself still in a stupor. Forgive me if this post isn't structured, because, as I punch the keys to put these very words on the screen you are reading at this moment, I feel the same exact way I did when news broke about this yesterday afternoon.
Angry. Hurt. Afraid.
All feelings I'm sure we all share, with others being able to add more adjectives to the complexity of emotions that is this latest attack on our way of life.
So even after a full twenty-four hours, I still sit here typing from the heart, with very little knowledge and logic coming from my mind. After all, how can you explain this? How can anyone?!
As a native New Yorker that lived through 9/11, I hate this feeling of not knowing why our freedoms and way of life are under attack. After all, we know why, but really, why? What is the end game in this mission of terror, or jihad, or anti-democracy?
Like the rest of the nation peering in on the wounded spirit of Boston, I hate watching that bomb explode repeatedly during newscasts. I hate the continuous details slowly leaking to our understanding which only mounts and mounts with heartbreaking stories of children who perished, families destroyed, and innocent people who are critically injured, many, who will have already walked on their own two feet for the last time.
I hate knowing there is some coward individual, or group, that is out there who planned this. Who possibly, in some dark, twisted, unknown and unreachable place of evil in their heart, is looking on in satisfaction. For what they did. And for their disgusting attempt to infuse terror into our lives.
I hate the idea that a similar bomb was set to explode in Time Square a few years ago, but was luckily foiled before the suspect was able to detonate it. I hate the idea that we were able to save Times Square, and we couldn't do the same for Boston. It's like we failed as nation. Furthermore, making the flawless-ultimatum that is terrorism protection fuel my hatred that much more.
It's a hatred which attempts to hide and protect the hurt that fills my heart. My heart hurts tremendously. It hurts for the victims, their families, and the entire city of Boston that will notoriously remember 4/15, the way images of 9/11 still floats in my head.
And as I continue to type, I'm trying to search through my own words and thoughts for the answer of that blaring one word question - why?
As well as the other why sub-questions...most noticeably, why is the concept of "peace" extinct? And the hard-to-swallow truth that peace is now a figment, which of course makes me feel afraid. Afraid of what's next to come.
We now live in a world where our innocence is now stripped multiple layers at a time. Children no longer have childhoods. All of us, we no longer have the innocence of fearless freedom. The scenes we once saw on the television in lands so far away that seemed dangerous, chaotic, and violent, are now in our nation. In our cities. In our neighborhoods.
It's a world that changed on September 11th, 2001, and suddenly took another step in the wrong direction yesterday. A world that is reminding us that true evil does exist. And it's real. VERY real. And most daunting of them all, that it is chasing us every day.
And it's more than just terrorism by way of bombing, but it's also been the Aurora Theater shootings, and the Sandy Hook shootings, to name a few. Don't put terrorism in a box!
Pure evil. Right in front of us. Sadly making the idea of life feel numb.
Yesterday caused me to think about my loved ones repeatedly.
My wife. My Parents. My family - blood, in-laws, and those by life's connection. Even those whom I've cross paths with in this race called life.
I've already lifted my voice several times to the good Lord in hope that those mentioned above will connect with him, if they haven't done so already. Life is all too short, and ends far too sudden not to.
And while we're at it, I pray that "Pray For Boston" isn't just a nice little phrase, but more of an action by everyone.
Through all of this anger, hurt, fear, and unanswered questions, the world continues to change. Sadly, for the worst.
I just hope and pray that we do more than lip service, fancy quotes, moments of silences, emotional rants and picture postings on social media, and even therapy through blogs (myself included).
Enjoy life. All of it. And be sure to hold those you care for close...by actually doing it and not just talking about it.
In a changing world where peace is fiction, and evil is fact, life should be more simple than it has ever been.
Love Jesus. Laugh. And Live for each other.